Blow Your Stack!

The picture above is of the cruise ship STAR CLIPPER ITALIA. Star Clipper’s website opens with this rather vomit inducing copy.

“Natural beauty, culture and history converge in Italy, Greece, Croatia and the islands of the Mediterranean. The taste of sweet green olive oil and fresh ripe tomatoes, the sound of carefree children laughing on sun drenched beaches, the sight of yachts at anchor in picturesque harbors.

These are the scenes which await you in the Mediterranean. No matter what your choice of cruise, you will discover the special and magical atmosphere of the Mediterranean that has enchanted travelers (sic) for millennia.”

The image was made this morning in the bay below Taormina, on Sicily’s east coast. The town itself has recently reached elevated levels of fame as the location for the second series of the cult Netflix show “White Lotus”. But it lost any semblance of authenticity well before the TV show. With 1.4 million instagram obsessed visitors expected this summer, it trembles under the sheer mass of tourism, the extreme heat and the brooding hulk of Mount Etna on its doorstep.

But all this is no excuse for the STAR CLIPPER to pump clouds of toxic black exhaust fumes into the sky above the bay for hours on end. They steamed into the anchorage around 0700 with a particularly nasty belch of fumes and then settled down to emit the steady stream you see in the picture, until we left around mid day. (and who thought it was a good idea to rum the exhaust pipe up the mast!)

Let’s get back to their website!

“(These sailing ships) are true jewels of the sea, that fully reflect the proud era of the galleons, with their polished finishes, a legacy of glorious ancient beauty. Stepping aboard these unique sailing ships means discovering a new era of navigation, where the traditions of the past blend perfectly with modern comforts and services.”

I genuinely believe that this copy is too terrible to have been written by AI.

However, if by “the traditions of the past” they mean the ability to pump tonnes of CO2 and exhaust fumes into the “magical atmosphere of the Mediterranean” with impunity, then they have certainly nailed that one. OK I admit it… I dread the idea of being trapped on one of these cruises. It’s the stuff of nightmares. But that’s not the point!

The point is that you can’t trumpet your commitment to “responsible tourism” and behave in this way.

It’s enough to make me blow my stack.